I started my journey after high school by enrolling in a community college but when I got there I was told I would have to do the same work I just finished doing in high school. I was given this stack of papers, worksheets to do. I think some were math and others were for English, about punctuation. “This is not what I came here for. This is not what I want to do.” I thought to myself. I was ready to learn something new and get started with a career.
I think at the time secretly I was in love with writing because I had done well in all my English classes and my teachers loved my work, always. How dare they make me work on this when I know I’m not good at punctuation, that is why I’m not taking up a field in writing. At the time in my life, I wasn’t thinking clearly, I was lost and didn’t know which way to go.
This could’ve been the first step to Gods plan for me and I was standing in the way of it. I detoured around it, and took the roughest path, that lead me right back to where I began.
Let me explain. A few years later I tuned to writing as an outlet, as therapy and still didn’t think that was my calling. That was something I just did for me. Year after year, this urge grew and the more I shared my poems the more people told me how amazed they were and that I should keep writing. I would wake from my sleep to write. I would not go to sleep at all, up just writing. Poems turned into short stories, which soon lead me to where I am today. This year I wrote my first novel and I will admit that I am still not great maybe not even good at punctuation, but I do my best to tell my story.
All this being said, imagine what would have happened if I’d seen that first step through, all I had to do was a stack of worksheets, I would’ve known all the rules of punctuation and maybe Gods plan for me all along was to become a writer. I just explained the very first thing that lead me on this writing journey, it was not the last. Throughout my years I continued to have things happen that further proved and showed me that writing was my calling and truly what was in my heart. I am good at many things but just maybe, I am great at writing.
I feel sad for the women who have had to be everything. The woman who is so independent that she feels less than if she allows a man to lend a helping hand. I feel sad for the women who tell themselves they don’t need or want a man because they can do it all and take care of it all.
There are some women who do it right but I’m upset at the ones who allow a man to do nothing because as a woman they have it taken care of. It’s even sadder that a “man” would just sit there and allow that to happen.
I am looked at as a lazy woman who is wasting her potential. I just haven’t found my way, or have I? Who are you to judge what I was put on this earth for. They don’t like that I haven’t allowed this world to corrupt me. They don’t like that I have the souls and spirits of my grandmothers inside me. They don’t like that I am a queen that sits quietly and watches my King rule and I step in only when I have too. Don’t try to figure out what I’m speaking on, I am talking about everything in life in general.
People will judge me until the day I die. Think I’m stupid, I’m a user, to a lazy spoiled brat. If they think that, they are fools. Good luck on recreating this nation when the time comes.
There are many “independent” women who want to act like a man. Not enough women who are loving a man from the depths of her soul, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. If my man don’t want that then with me is where he shouldn’t be. What’s wrong with being independent? Nothing, if you’re smart about it. Nothing if you don’t take the crown from your Kings head. Nothing if you realize Love is more powerful than any money. Nothing if you understand that your independence doesn’t make you better than the next woman. Only thing that truly matters is You, inside, behind the makeup and clothes. Your soul and spirit is all that matters, everything else is a extra bonus.
I’m afraid that we will be a world full of women wanting to do everything and men becoming weak because they have been told they are not needed and barely even wanted. Even men who are taught to work hard are not taught to love even harder. Women and Men have to come together and stop trying to compete with one another. Stop trying to fight for control. Rule the kingdom together and remember if both of you are doing all the same things, there are other things that are not getting done because you too busy trying to keep up with each other and thinking one job is less than. Remember it all has to get done. Don’t look down on the strong woman who chooses to stay at home and raise your kids instead of someone else. It all has to get done. No one is better than the other. We all have our reasons to be here and we are not all meant to do and be the same.